Wow: This Epic Twitter Thread Shows Why The Great Pacific Garbage Patch Is Winning the Internet

by Tony Belletier

Let’s just say Donald Trump Jr. Is not having a good day on Twitter. It all started when Don Jr. made this highly problematic tweet that perpetuated the long debunked claim that Hillary Clinton’s State Department approved the sale of Uranium 1 to the Russian firm Rosatom.

(@DonaldTrumpJrtweet) total hypocrisy from fake news. Where were they when Hillary Clinton sold uranium to the Russians. That’s the real collusion!

But things really got ugly after Don Jr. tweeted this:

(@DonaldTrumpJrTweet tweet) Hillary ran the worst campaign ever and she belongs in the trash heap of history

Shots fired!

The tweet went viral after the Great Pacific Garbage Patch Popped into his mentions and owned him with logic.

(@garbagepatchTweet) EXCUSE ME? Who are you to talk about trash heaps? You’re dad wouldn’t even be in the Whitehouse if it weren’t for the Russians!

Oh Snap!

But it gets better. The Great Pacific Garbage Patch, affectionately known as “the nicest trash vortex in Hollywood” wasn’t in a very nice mood today and wasn’t going to let Donald Trump Jr. off the hook for his ignorant comments about trash heaps.

(@garbagepatchTweet) By using ignorant language like that, you deny that trash heaps play an outsized role in making America what it is. I should know. I’m the size of Texas.

Wow! How many times can this 300,000 square mile collection of pelagic plastics and toxic sludge win the internet?

It goes without saying that the Great Pacific Trash Vortex is a darling in progressive circles. As a close personal friend of the Clinton’s, the garbage patch has contributed to many liberal causes.

Don Jr. fired back tweeting

(@DonaldTrumpJrTweet) Oh boy, here comes washed up Great Pacific Garbage Patch

What followed was pure epicness.

(@garbagepatchTweet) Washed up? I’m not washed up. You’re just swimming in my wake. #wake #woke.

Can you say “Perfect Ownage”?

But it didn’t end there. At one point a disgruntled twitter user said

(@disgruntleduserTweet) someone should punch @DonaldTrumpJr

What followed was a teachable moment as the agglomeration of marine debris cautioned against the dangers of political violence.

(@garbagepatchTweet)Violence is NEVER the answer. Once some seagulls started using bits of plastic from my vortex to build their nests. Did I fight back? No. I turned the other cheek #resistance #flotsam #jetsam

(@garbagepatchTweet) Antifa are just as bad as the oceanographers tasked with cleaning me up.

(@garbagepatchTweet) I just think we should focus on improving Obamacare because single payer will never happen.

Then things got crazy when @realdonaldtrump entered the fray, attacking the Great Pacific Garbage Patch

(@realdonaldtrump) Great Pacific Garbage Patch vary unfair too my son. He should retire. Last movie bombed big time. Sad!

But then the Great Pacific Garbage Patch won the internet forever with the most epic takedown in twitter history. Brace yourselves

(@garbagepatchTweet) You mean the movie that made $500 million. Did you type that with your little hands you orange cheeto of a man? #clapback

Wow. Just wow.

Within 37 seconds the tweet blew up with over 48 million likes and 27 million retweets becoming the biggest tweet in history.

It really was a bonehead move to pick a fight with the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. As one of the few gyres of marine waste to join the exclusive EGOT club after winning the quartette of major annual awards in entertainment, the Great Pacific Garbage Patch is one of the most powerful garbage patches in Hollywood and is beloved by everyone (except for when he was once accused of sexual harassment in a case that was settled out of court for an undisclosed amount).

Now that is what I call a twitter war for the ages. If you want to watch the Garbage Patch again, he’ll be appearing tonight on the Rachel Maddow show to discuss Trump’s tax returns and it is bound to be a non-stop thrill ride.

Tony Belletier zoomed from his site, American Carnage, where he posts regularly.

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