A Short History Of Louise Mensch


For the latest fake news on Russiagate, the first place I turn to is Louise Mensch, the British Parliament member-turned-conspiracy theorist and one-time New York Times op-ed contributor.

As of November 2017, Mensch had tweeted 110,000 times since she joined Twitter in 2009, averaging 38 a day, according to The Independent’s calculation.

Upon leaving government, Mensch became a columnist for the Rupert Murdoch-owned Sun, where she took up the cause of feminism by getting involved in a series of high-profile “bosom battles,” to use a term coined by the other Howard Rushmore.

She clashed in the media with the Education Secretary’s wife, who saw Mensch’s photo in GQ magazine and concluded that she had “pert, but modest-sized breasts.

Then the venerable British magazine Tatler nicknamed Mensch “Twitter Tits” when it included her in its special “Titler” issue, featuring “the most magnificent and marvellous breasts in all society.”

Mensch was not amused, tweeting, “Please don’t edit magazines drunk. #feminism.” She also used her column to chastise a Parliament member’s wife who had a habit of posting her buxom cleavage selfies on social media.

In response to Mensch’s “#feminism,” Alexandra Jones of The Guardian noted: “This is the very same Louise Mensch who has a column in The Sun. I’m not sure if she’s noticed but The Sun features a different topless woman every day.”

Mensch now lives in the USA with her rock-star-manager hubby, Peter Mensch, and has traded in #feminism for Russiagate.

She reinvented herself as an investigative tweeter, and “began reporting stories using information no other journalist seemed to have,” as The Independent observed.

Mensch specializes in “informed speculation” and other forms of hard evidence that are intended to prove that Vladimir Putin snatched the 2016 election from Hillary Clinton’s rightful grasp.

Convinced that Putin’s alleged theft was an act of war, Mensch tweet-demanded that then-President Obama go to war with Russia. “I want precision bombing raids. Mass cyber war. Bank hacks.”

For unknown reasons, Obama didn’t listen.

In April 2017, she claimed on Twitter that Black Lives Matter activists were paid by Russia to demonstrate in Ferguson. “That’s because you, Russia, funded riots in Ferguson,” she tweeted.

And while most conspiracy theorists think Andrew Breitbart’s sudden death in 2012 was orchestrated by Barack Hussein Obama, you know who Mensch thinks did it. “I absolutely believe that Andrew Breitbart was murdered by Putin, just as the founder of RT was murdered by Putin.”

She even tried to explain the law to Preet Bharara, former United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York, when he derided her reporting that there were sealed indictments against Trump.

Truly, Mensch is “the Sy Hersh of our time,” as former New York Times writer Virginia Heffernan called her.

She also has a blog called Patribotics, which I think is the same thing as probiotics, so you can get your Russiagate facts and increase your gut flora at the same time.

Last November, she broke the story on “Mike Flynn’s Treason Tour,” describing how “Flynn and his son assisted Vladimir Putin in targeting Russian propaganda not only in the United States, but also right across Europe.”

She later absolved Mike Flynn Jr. for going on the treason tour, because he told her that he was forced to do it, and said so “in such a way” that led her to believe him. She did, however, accuse the younger Flynn of being “addicted to tweeting hate-ridden Russian messaging.”

Mensch’s former employer The Sun was not known for its accuracy  Alas, Mensch has gotten a number of stories rather spectacularly wrong, including a report that Trump had secretly been replaced as president.

“Trump’s Presidency Ended May 9th – Hatch Getting Security Briefings,” Patribotics exclusively reported last May. “Several sources familiar with the matter say that Senator Orrin Hatch of Utah is being given security briefings to prepare him for the Presidency,” the story said. “Sources close to the legal community indicate that matters are proceeding rapidly in the forthcoming proceedings to remove Donald Trump from office, and to indict the co-conspirators around him.”

Mensch kicked off 2018 with a New Year’s Day blog post, revealing that the Russians hacked The New York Times because it is the “paper of record” and because it is read by liberals. Perhaps Putin had read The Times’ advertising data card, and logically concluded from the demographic profile that it would be a good hack.

Patribotics sometimes has guest bloggers, most notably Claude Taylor, who is best-known for breaking the news about Donald and Melania Trump’s aborted divorce plans. In May 2017, Taylor tweeted: “I was just told by MSM member that Donald and Melania’s divorce papers were signed prior to election and settlement agreed to. Then he won.”

Another guest blogger, Peter Evans, dropped a Patribotic bombshell last November when he revealed that China was Putin’s “partner in crime” when he stole the 2016 election.

Evans wrote: “Fact is that the biggest geopolitical heist in history occurred when Donald J Trump was elected as President. Because he was elected not by the people, for the people, but by and for the interests of the Russian Federation – and the People’s Republic of China.”

Russia is uniquely devious, Evans pointed out, because it “does things strategically” – unlike other governments, which just wing it.

A particularly sinister example of Russian strategy is the “international intrigue we are seeing now over with North Korea,” which “is nothing but a Kabuki Dance designed to confuse and distract the Western public from what is really going on.” (Note to Evans: Kabuki is not Korean.)

Meanwhile, on Twitter Mensch has recently claimed that a certain Vermont senator is also in on the Russian plot to undermine America. “Bernie Sanders’ links to Putin discredited Bernie Sanders,” she tweeted.

For a long time Mensch’s loopy conspiracy theories were quite popular with liberals. who were — and still are — desperate to believe anything that furthers the Russiagate/impeachment narrative. But by now, her fan base, and credibility, has diminished significantly. “Louise Mensch’s Destructive Fantasies,” the conservative but generally anti-Trump National Review headlined one story. “Louise Mensch and the rise of the liberal conspiracy theorist,” Slate ran above another piece.

Well, no she can’t. Instead, she responded by outing Mr. Mensch as a “fucking commie,” according to The London Times.


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Howard Rushmore is America's greatest amateur bartender and the spirited remains of the famous Confidential columnist of the same name.