Mask-Burning Rite at Right-Wing Conspiracy Confab Cancelled Because Nobody Wore Masks

The Pillow Guy, Michael Flynn and Lin Wood headlined the MAGA star-studded affair


A two-day Covid conspiracy confab was held last Friday and Saturday at Rhema Bible Church near Tulsa, the hub of paranoid evangelical country-taker-backers since the 1950’s heyday of the accused bisexual sex offender and John Bircher Reverend Billy James Hargis and his Christian Crusade.

Officially christened the “Health and Freedom Conference,” the powwow featured a who’s who of MAGA stars, plus a host of lesser-known far-right comedy acts.

Lin Wood, the Southern Belle of President Trump’s legal Dream Team, grabbed the most headlines by punctuating his speech with “air Qs,” prompting a standing ovation from the congregation of 4,000-plus.

Lin Wood dazzling the crowd with “Air Qs”

The Dream Team’s other legal loon, Sidney Kraken Powell, allegedly had a good excuse to skip the trip, and appeared via video link instead.

Also on video was Jim Caviezel, who starred in the title role in Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ. The actor waxed Q about “the adrenochroming of children” by liberal elites, and tearfully thanked QAnon activists for “pulling kids out of the darkest recesses of hell right now.”

Meanwhile, live on stage, MAGA Martyr Michael Flynn picked up the child abuse theme, revealing that wearing masks give kids staph infections. He waved a large picture of a young girl as evidence.

Of course, The Pillow Guy was also on hand to continue his stolen election jihad. “It is awesome to not see masks and all this garbage,” he told a local TV reporter backstage.

“Herman Cain”?

Alan Dershowitz and Rudy Giuliani were notably absent, but so far no one has claimed Antifa had anything to do with that.

The liberating mask-burning event was listed on the official itinerary published by the confab’s organizer, The ThriveTime Show, a website that sells online business seminars.

“It’s Time To Burn Those Masks,” reads the itinerary’s 9:30 PM Saturday slot.

However, it was not to be. “There wasn’t a single mask present to burn,” says a Facebook post by Pastor Jackson Lahmeyer, confab speaker, owner of Lahmeyer Investment Company and Republican primary challenger to Oklahoma Senator James Lankford,

Indeed, if you want to watch people doing their best to give each other Covid, video of the event has been posted online by various freedom-loving websites.

So who will be the “Herman Cain” of the conspiracy confab? That’s a toughie.

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David Bonner is a Washington Babylon Contributing Writer and Senior Analyst of MAGA affairs. Veteran copywriter, former gutter journalist and snake oil salesman for a conspiracy webcult, and author of "Revolutionizing Children's Records" (Scarecrow Press) and “Selling Folk Music” (University Press of Mississippi).