EXCLUSIVE FAKE NEWS: Nancy Pelosi Loves USA So Much She’s Spending Her Own Money To Save Us All

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A source recently passed on to me a fundraising pitch sent via email to potential Democratic suckers — I mean donors — by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Boy, I was practically moved to vomiting — I mean tears — by Pelosi’s heartfelt plea for cash.

Here’s her pitch, lightly edited:

I’m coming to you for the sixth time this week because I have an urgent update for you. I have bad (ok, TERRIBLE) news: Trump and his Republicans are attacking me left and right.

Meanwhile, they’re raising unprecedented sums of money — $26 MILLION in just one month — to defeat Democrats across the country. But now I have good (ok, AMAZING) news:

For the first time this month, I’m personally TRIPLE-MATCHING all gifts until the End of Month Deadline in just 24 hours. I’m still $462,12O short of my goal, but I know I can count on you to help us complete a stunning comeback right now.

I’m desperately counting on you to answer my repeated calls to action and step up before tomorrow’s important deadline.Will you chip in $1 to protect and expand our Democratic Majority?

24-HOUR DEADLINE: ALL GIFTS TRIPLE-MATCHED

Triple match your $1

Triple match your $35

Triple match your $50

Triple match your $100

Triple match your $250

Or triple match another amount.

Thank you,

Nancy

Is Pelosi personally triple matching all donations out of her own pocket, other than the zero that she hopes to raise through $1 donations ? I seriously doubt it though she easily could afford to since this Woman of the People’s net worth is over $100 million. So I hope the House Ethics Committee (hahaha) begins an investigation soon to determine if Pelosi honors her pledge.

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