A Listicle Of The Worst Things About 2017 We Should Throw In The New Year's Trash


As I was trimming our Christmas tree (yes, I was multitasking while checking Twitter, dammit!), the thought occurred to me, “Mary, what are the top things you wish we could collectively forget about as we head into 2018?”

It was a difficult year and the ideas quickly started coming. Based on what I learned years ago at Shrine Of The Little Flower in Royal Oak, Michigan, I offer the following prayer list of things I hope are stricken from our great nation, and from my head. FOREVER.

The Clintons. Dear god, how LONG must we put up with Mr. and Mrs. “Two For The Price Of One”? How LONG must we be held hostage by this “power couple” that has held the Democratic Party hostage to their bland, evil centrism? How LONG must we deal with Hillary’s ongoing temper-tantrum about losing last year’s presidential campaign.

#TheResistance. It’s great that people want to get involved in the age of Trump, but Christ, what are these idiots “resisting”? REAL resistance involves more than just screaming “Anything but Trump!” Everyone should read this fine article in The Atlantic by Matt Stoller, “How Democrats Killed Their Populist Soul,” to understand what went wrong with the Democratic Party and to see that things haven’t been fine with it for long, long time.

Keith Olbermann of #TheResistance. Please hand me a barf bag.

Neocons. You know, the war criminals WE ALL despised during the George W. Bush years? It’s like a faction of Democrats have goddamn amnesia. People, David Frum and Bill Kristol are not your friends just because they don’t like Donald Trump. The former coined the phrase “Axis of Evil,” in a Bush speech, to put Iraq, Iran and North Korea at the top of the neocon list of countries to invade. Kristol is another permanent war-lover and if given the chance, he’ll be leading the charge — from safely behind his laptop — for the upcoming invasions of Syria, Ukraine and Russia.

David Brock. In a 2014 Slate article, Brock’s “American Bridge” project was described as “the permanent campaign that’s currently trying to save the election for Democrats.” A related project was called “Correct the Record,” which was going to “rebut conservative misinformation” in the press. In reality, the goal of Brock — the former Republican hatchet man and professional liar — was to smear anyone who opposed Hillary Clinton’s 2016 presidential bid. Correct the Record, a super PAC, spent millions attacking Hillary’s foes, including creating a n army of online trolls to harass Bernie Sanders supporters. So PLEASE, David Brock, throw yourself atop the ash heap of political history, where you belong.

The Shillaries: Neera Tanden, Tom Watson, and Joy Reid. There’s rarely a day that goes by without one or all of these cretins saying something outlandishly stupid and outrageously false. Take, for example, Reid’s recent “thoughts” about how Sanders allegedly mistreats his wife, Jane. Or when Watson compared a Sanders rally in New York City to a “Hitler Youth” demonstration. The examples of this punching left from these folks is ENDLESS. If Hillary cared so much about the party she claims to love — hahahahaha — she’d tell The Shillaries to STFU.

Daou-ism. Former Clinton advisor Peter Daou is co-founder of the utterly pathetic Hillary Menalong with the aforementioned Watson. Daou also is the brains, as it were, behind Verrit.com, which Jack Shafer of Politico describes as a self-funded “Pro-Hillary Website That Looks Like North Korean Agitprop,” which was founded a few months ago and “endorsed by Hillary to carry on her failed crusade,” only to be greeted with “universal derision.”

Stupid Talking Points.“Bernie Bros” and “Bernie’s not a real Democrat,” and a host of other stupid talking points, are clearly manufactured by pollsters and consultants. It’s old and it’s tired and very few people actually give a fuck about these stupid talking points other than cable TV pundits and related media morons, and Hillary dead-enders. Trash time.

#Resistance idiots Eric Garland, Louise Mensch, Claude Taylor, et al. Look, I understand that it’s a shock to have a reality-star gangster in the White House and despise the situation EVERY DAY. But for fuck’s sake, no amount of “Twitter investigations” into whatever Russia did or didn’t do regarding the election is going to “crack the case,” you fucking #Resistance boneheads. All that these deranged #Resistance heroes are accomplishing is EXPLOITING people’s emotions, pain and fear.

On a fun side note, remember when Queen Russia Grifter Louise Mensch literally had a faction of Democrats cheering on an Orrin Hatch presidency? Christ,  I can’t even remember the loopy scenario Mensch was peddling that led from Trump to Mike Pence to Paul Ryan to Hatch, but there were people desperate and dumb enough to swallow it. Orrin Hatch, for god’s sake. As recently reported by NBC NEWS, this shit bird helped add late provisions to the GOP’s disgusting tax bill that could extend significant tax breaks to real estate companies, among others. Just who we need in the White House.

Down the Hatch, nice and easy.

So, there you go. Happy holidays, everyone! I’m THRILLED to leave 2017 behind, and look for my upcoming piece where I’ll outline what I am looking forward to in 2018.

I’ll end this with some gratitude: thank you to my wonderful husband — really, can you *imagine* dealing with me day after goddamn day? — to our two amazing children, my wonderful friends, my colleagues on the Luscious Ladies podcast I co-host and of course, to Ken Silverstein, the editor-in-chief of this fabulous publication.

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