Highest Court Holds Throwing Fruit at Nazis Is Protected Speech


The highest court in the land 
Is a basketball court
In the Rocky Mountains 
Where Moses and God decide 
The days’ most pressing questions 
Such as whether it’s permissible
To throw fruits and vegetables  
At Nazis, at their rallies, 
Oh yes, says God, we got this one wrong 
Back in the 30s 
Of course it’s self-defense per se —
Not to mention political speech 
As long as the fruit is sufficiently soft, 
and rotten, 
The fruit must be soft 
And likewise the vegetables 
Both, preferably, tossed 
From passing bicycles

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Elliot Sperber is a writer, attorney, and adjunct professor. He lives in New York City and can be reached at elliot.sperber@gmail.com and on twitter @elliot_sperber.