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Martial law declared: Those were the good old days.

Hillary Clinton is going to be the next president. Kenneth Bone wore a red sweater and became a celebrity. The Upper West Side thinks Donald Trump is embarrassing, which we already knew.

In other words, the day could not be any worse. Oh yeah, a big chunk of India reportedly has disappeared.

Anyway, there’s really nothing new to report and everyone is probably still hungover from the long weekend. Fortunately, waitbutwhy.com has produced perhaps the funniest political satire of the whole campaign.

Read the whole thing here.

Martha: Hey Donald, remember your Muslim ban? Let’s discuss.

Trump: I love Captain Khan. I have his name tattooed on my lower back. An American hero. Who Hillary killed by starting the Iraq War, another thing I hate.

Martha: Fuckin—dude—no. Answer the question.

Trump: Who made you so mean? Was it your parents? And who made you so simultaneously nice to Hillary? Also your parents?

Martha: Does the Muslim ban still hold?

Trump: Hillary wants to merge the US with Syria into one nation. She wants to increase the number of refugees from 10,000 to 65,000.

Martha: What the fuck Hillary?

Clinton: That picture of the dead four-year-old boy on the beach with the little sneakers.

Martha: Totes.

Clinton: Also, Donald literally wants to ban an entire major religion from entering the US. Can we just all reflect on that for a second? And also, he started the Iraq War, not me.

Trump: I was against the war in Iraq.

Clinton: No you weren’t.

Trump: Yes I was.

Clinton: No you weren’t.

Trump: Yes I was.

Clinton: No you weren’t.

Trump: Yes I was. Bernie Sanders says Hillary Clinton has bad judgment.

Martha: Okay new question.

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