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Mitters: The dream lives on. Photo credit: Wikicommons.

Trump is a DISASTER. I’m not going to rehash his latest asinine tweet or action, we’re already buried under a ton of Trump trash.

Meanwhile, #Resistance grifters like Louise “Tory Bore” Mensch and Eric “Game Theory” Garland are willing to launch fifty-page Twitter screeds but they aren’t willing to read a civics book. So time to get wise, if you are part of the “The #Resistance” you best be thinking about flipping Congress or your wet dreams of “President Hatch” are going to go down in flames, to mix a metaphor, like Hillary’s chances to be president.

Anyone who knows me knows there are two things that drive me crazy: the first I’m not telling you because, well, you don’t know me like that; the second is the DCCC, “the official campaign arm of the Democrats in the House” otherwise known as the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. I am CONSTANTLY going after the horrendous DCCC because of its highly paid consultants, beltway hacks, Nancy Peolosi and its incredibly uninspiring chairman, Congressman Ben Lujan.

Anyway, while this may be a non sequitur, I have decided to soak up the stupid and I went to the imaginary place that the fake-resistance loves to go: Trump will be impeached. So let’s play a game: 45 gets his walking papers, somehow Pence is out too, and look, Paul “Ayn Rand” Ryan is so dumb, his “time as POTUS” would be TEMPORARY. Ryan’s run is short either because of incompetence or maybe he slips on a Russian banana peel.

That brings us to 2020, a year that can only be viewed in hindsight. So who would be the centrist corpocracy’s and #The Resistance’s “dream ticket” that year? 

Hmmm. Well, since the fake-ass “resistance” has newfound love for former war criminal George W. Bush, he is a likely candidate. But our draft-dodging ex-president is more interested in painting nudes in the shower than returning to power.

Hold on, I know what would fulfill the centrist fever dream of consolidating financial power in the hands of the self-professed adults in the room. How about a Hillary/Romney ticket!

HELL YEAH! FUCK YES, BRING IT, BABY! Mainline that corporate centrism right into my veins! In any other year in history this might seem weird. Didn’t Romney run against Obama in 2012? And as DEMOCRATS [note: not the editor of this story] weren’t we “supposed” to, y’know, HATE HIS HYPER-CAPITALIST, Bain Capital RUNNIN’ ASS?

Nope! At least not for the faux-resistance and beltway bandits who delight in creating new and novel ways to bring the party closer to late-capital Armageddon.

See, Hillary was a card-carrying member of the Democratic Leadership Council (DLC), the VERY corporatist, centrist, pro-business, pro-deregulation, Chamber of Commerce sucking “Third Way” triangulation insanity that IS DESPERATE TO STAY IN POWER. 

Romney is a “never Trumper” — except when Donald pretended he might make him secretary of state or dog catcher OR ANY FUCKING THING in his administration — who is now is suddenly considered “good and reasonable” by a faction of low-info and low-intelligence Democrats.

Granted I haven’t taken a formal poll, but you don’t need to work for Gallup to see how salivating beltway consultants, mainstream media types and other boring ass punditslong for a “normal” president like Romney. I can hear Chris Matthews saying right now, “Romney is restoring the idea of dignity in the presidency, he’s straight out of central casting.”

So it’s actually *not* a stretch to think idiots in DC would come up with Hillary-Mitters 2020 or an equally hideous Mitters-Hillary 2020, which would be VASTLY UNPOPULAR with the majority of the country but would have FAWNING, stupid writers like David Brooks and Jonathan Chait salivating. Imagine their hot takes!

Not to mention all the newly-resuscitated neocons like David Frum and Bill Kristol, as well as not to mention, again, George W. Bush. It’s a veritable Spring Time for Hitler.

Why are these beltway assholes so desperate? Is it because they want to save the Republic? Is it because they are interested in preserving the institutions of liberal democracy?

Fuck no. It’s about the money, Lebowski. None of the brilliant ass pundits mentioned above, or any other mainstream clown, would have predicted that there would now be 16 co-sponsors for Medicare for All in the Senate. We are actually having a national conversation about free college tuition. It is now even normal to talk about a living wage so people don’t have to eat food while not seeing their doctor because they don’t have any money.

It’s all those issues, plus the specter of Bernie Sanders or a more straightforward and younger Marxist candidate, that have mainstream commentators shitting in their pants. Everything the DC establishment told us was a free pony is now within grasp and you bet your ass that has the establishment scared shitless (which for our current purposes is the same as them shitting in their pants. Hope you already had your breakfast.)

And oh no! The majority of citizens of the United States actually approve of all of these things! You goddamn know that’s what these nitwits are thinking in DC. You know right fucking now they are thinking of anyway possible to get the left-leaning progressive faction to shut the fuck up. 

So as crazy as it might sound, or maybe you’re thinking, “We need to get Mary to the psychiatric unit immediately,” but what I’m saying here is possible even if a hypothetical. And if it turns out that we have a Hillary/Romney campaign in 2020 you can all stop laughing and call me a goddamn genius.

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